Penance
by nemaara
Summary: Set during the three-episode series 'The End' - Robin goes searching for Raven, but she tries to avoid him. Oneshot. Robin/Raven.


Disclaimer: Nothing from Teen Titans is mine

This oneshot is set during _The End _(last three episodes from season 4), when Robin is trying to retrieve Raven from the pits of hell. Unlike in the episodes, Raven won't be a child, but other than that the setting is the same.

"Speech"

_Thoughts _

* * *

A brief glimpse.

But it was enough - he was certain that he had seen her.

"Raven!"

She was running from him, and he didn't know why, but that didn't matter. All he knew was that he had to get to her. And so he ran.

"Raven!" he shouted again, hoping she would recognize him, but she continued running.

He gritted his teeth and pursued her.

Winding around around the barren, scorched red paths, toward a large, dark building a top a hill. Running for her as quickly as he could, but she was fast, and he almost lost her as she entered the building ahead of him.

It was some sort of large, abandoned church, crafted of black stone, made in the gothic style. Seemingly abandoned, save for the shadow that passed through the small pools of light streaming through the stained glass windows.

In the dim light of the room, she was no more than a dark shape among the outskirts of the light, but he still managed to catch sight of her again - the edge of her cloak, as she ran up a flight of stairs.

"Wait!" He began running after her, but lost sight of her again as she entered a hallway filled with a bunch of rooms.

He looked around wildly, trying to figure which one she entered, but none of the rooms had doors to begin with, and the dust on the floor had been blown about randomly so he could not even follow her footprints.

He groaned in frustration. "Why won't you talk to me?"

She did not reply - he did not expect her to. "Why won't you let me help you?"

Silence. He balled his hands into fists. But then relaxed. _Getting frustrated won't help anything. Stay calm. Pushing Raven never works. _

"Please. I'm not going to hurt you."

There was a quiet noise and for a moment, he wasn't sure if it was just the wind blowing on something or if she had actually moved.

He began walking forward, looking into each of the rooms. "I just want to help. Please don't run."

Still nowhere to be found. He pressed on.

"Don't be afraid. I'm your friend."

He reached the end of the hall and found one last room, the only one with a door, marked with the symbol of scath on the front. He stopped and raised a hand tentatively toward the doorknob.

"Go away," a soft voice sounded from within.

"Raven-"

"Get away from me."

"But Raven..."

She remained silent. He put his hand on the doorknob and turned, but then withdrew as it flared with black energy, sending a slight jolt up his arm.

"What's wrong? Why won't you let me in?"

_I should never have dragged you into this. None of you. I... I shouldn't have made you guys suffer. _"Leave me alone," she repeated.

Robin closed his eyes. "I see. So that's how it is."

And suddenly, he burst in through the door.

Startled, she moved away, shielding her face and body from him with her cloak. He continued forward onto a balcony overlooking a bottomless chasm, approaching the white-cloaked girl slowly.

She continued backing away. "Robin, no. Leave. You shouldn't be here. You-"

"Raven," he said gently, but firmly. "It doesn't matter whether I should or shouldn't be here. I _am _here. And I'm going to help you."

She shook her head, backing away further. "No. No, you can't." She took another step back.

But there was no railing and she stumbled as the edge of the balcony disappeared beneath her. Robin rushed forward, catching her wrist - she made a small noise of pain, and as she regained her balance, clutched her forearm, biting her lip.

Beneath the white sleeve of her leotard, a small trickle of blood ran down her hand.

"Raven you didn't..."

She pursed her lips, forcing back the emotion that threatened to break loose. "Look, Robin. All I've ever wanted was to die. But before, that would've meant releasing the portal. I had to at least try to stop him. But I failed. So at least now, now... let me go..."

Robin's brows furrowed. "Raven... I'll be damned if I give up on you. You can't give up. You-"

"It's the end of the world, Robin! He's already won! I tried and tried, but I just couldn't beat him! It's over!"

"It's not."

"Robin-"

"We're still here, aren't we?"

Raven closed her eyes. "We are," she said softly.

"We can still fight."

She sighed. "I wish. But he's too strong. He's a _demon lord, _Robin."

"We can try."

"We won't be able to beat him."

"We can still try. What do we have to lose?"

Raven shook her head sadly and sat along the balcony's edge, letting her legs dangle over the side. She watched the blood drip down from her wrists for a few moments, then gritted her teeth, fighting off the urge to lash out at anything, and everything that came too close.

_It's not Robin's fault. It's nobody's fault except for mine. I was too weak to stop him before he came, and now I'm too weak to fight him off. I... I have no reason to be angry. No, he's the one who should be mad at me. I'm... nothing but a harbinger of destruction. I'm just garbage... I'm just... worthless. Why is he even wasting time on me? Why even bother with a failure like me..._

"It's not your fault," he murmured, studying the downcast look on her face as she turned. "None of it is. It's not your fault that-"

"It was my fault that I was born."

Robin sighed. "No, it wasn't. You did the best you could to prevent all of this. To make up for it-"

"How could I possibly make up for this?" Raven squeezed her eyes shut, her voice an agitated whisper. Tears pooled at the corner of her eyes, but she held it back, still refusing the emotion welling up in her. "I _murdered _a whole planet of people. Billions of people, dead because I'm too weak to do anything. I let you all down. I... I shouldn't have dragged you guys into it. All I did was hurt you, my friends..."

"No!" Robin spoke violently, but then noticing the shock in Raven's eyes, calmed himself. "No, Raven. We're all grateful to you. You at least gave us a chance to fight back. There's no reason for you to feel ashamed about that-"

"I hurt you," she repeated, squeezing her knees with her hands. "And I killed everyone-"

"Not you. Trigon."

"I might as well have done it."

"Raven-"

"How could I possibly atone for this?" she said quietly. "The blood of all those souls on my hands..."

"You can by not giving up. Avenge them, by fighting back. By beating him."

Raven opened her mouth to retort, but Robin closed the distance between them before she could speak. Her voice caught in her throat. He put a finger on her lips and took of his mask. And piercing, brilliantly colored azure met rich, deep lavender.

Her eyes closed. "Why do you have to be so difficult?"

"Because. I-" he cleared his throat. "We're friends. And I never give up on friends."

She stared at him for a moment, surprised, and he knew she had sensed what he had truly meant. He let out a soft groan. _Shit. Almost had her. __Now she's going to- _

"I didn't know..." she said quietly, her face blank. "I didn't think... anyone would think of me like that."

"You weren't supposed to-"

"It was a good cover up. You're smooth."

He held her shoulders, looking at her seriously. "I meant it, too. I won't let you stay here alone. I _will _take you back."

She sighed. "I... I'll fight. But I can't possibly hope to beat him, Robin."

"That's okay. If that's the case, then I'll just have to have enough hope for the both of us."

Raven froze, then smiled briefly, taking his hand and holding it to her chest. He felt her slow, steady heartbeat against her ribs, sensing a feeling of calmness from the pulsing rhythm of her life force.

"Alright," she whispered. "But before we go, do you... do you think there's somewhere I could go first? Just briefly. It won't take long."

He nodded. "Of course."

Raven let out a low, soft breath and her hands dropped back to her sides. She moved past him slightly, then beckoned for him to follow.

* * *

Back into the church, this time down through several flights of stairs - she led him toward an area where it was cool, more comfortable than the dry heat that pervaded the air outside.

Underground, the halls were lit with torches that flared up as the two of them passed by. They wound through a couple of empty paths, down a particularly large hall toward a room that had had its doors blown straight off their hinges.

Raven's lips twitched as she entered, but she said nothing and walked over to a large statue on the opposite side of the room. A woman dressed in a hooded cloak, remarkably similar to Raven's own, though the figure seemed more majestic, radiating a greater sense of tranquility and confidence that Raven usually lacked.

"An altar to Azar, my mentor," she murmured, sensing Robin's unspoken question. "Defiled by Trigon, but it's the best I've got."

"For what?"

Raven knelt in front of it, removing her hood. She bowed her head and pressed her hands together in a silent prayer. "Penance."

Robin's eyes widened. Wordlessly, he knelt beside her and bowed his head as well, being careful to not disturb her.

In the stillness of the room, it was almost as if he could hear Raven's thoughts.

_High priestess Azar, protector and caretaker of Azarath. Azar, my surrogate mother and teacher... forgive me. I failed. I couldn't stop him. I failed you, all of Azarath, all of Earth... and now everyone's dead. No, such a sin cannot possibly be forgiven, nor can I hope to atone for it, yet here I am, trying to find some form of penance. __The only thing I can do now, is as you taught me. As my friends taught me as well._

_Never give up._

_It is the only thing I can do, to ever hope to make up for the horrible thing that I have done. _Raven's lips curved down slightly and she breathed out in a light sigh. _Luckily for me, I have the best friends in the world... the best friends who I do not deserve, but ones that stand beside me anyway. Even when I have already lost all hope... _She shook her head. _It seems that I am not as cursed as I thought I was. I know that it is too much to ask for forgiveness... there is no penance that can possible make up for all of this, but I will fight anyway. And maybe, if we win, maybe then you can forgive me. But I dare not hope. _

Raven opened her eyes and stood. "Let's go."


End file.
